I was exhausted, tested, 

But forced into social interaction, 

Dressed as a heroin addict 

Waiting for a reaction. 

–

The terrace became the ‘DISCO HAUS’, 

The lounge became a waiting room, 

Waiting for people to show up, 

My sober thoughts awaiting doom. 

–

People I cared for finally trod in, 

Forced enthusiastic smiles, 

Raising my voice to match up, 

Empty corridors stretching for miles. 

–

Frantic phrases, 

From my drunken friends: 

Judge my bedroom! 

Judge my outfit! 

I’m waiting for this party to end. 

–

The Devil walked in smiling, 

Forcing me into hiding, 

Martin comforted me as I was crying, 

He told me not to let the evil ruin my excitement.

– 

I don’t utter a sentence, 

I don’t utter a word, 

I just want to rest my head, 

Against the evening, 

And rise into the morning.

– 

Duties begin: 

I stay,  

Kicking souls out, 

Rescuing alcohol; 

A broken glass; 

Locked out friends… 

As finally, 

Finally, 

The night ends. 

–

Poetry by Cerys Gadsden.

Artwork by Millie Elson.