Aunty Anjie’s Sexy and Sunny Summer Horoscopes

Wondering what the summer of 2019 has in store for you? Anjum Nahar has you covered. For TWSS issue #17 ‘Masks’.

She’s back, she’s stressed about uni work, and she’s ready to flex her alliteration skills. Once again, Bristol-based astrologer Anjum Nahar brings you 100% accurate horoscopes for Summer 2k19. She’s so good you’ll want to sue her! (but please don’t because TWSS has no money lol).

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) We all love a career driven Aries boss that’s already applied for multiple internships or secured a summer work placement. As an Aries you’re guaranteed to have a productive and rewarding summer but you need to remember to keep a healthy balance between work and fun.

Taurus (Apr 20 – May 20) You’re known to be strong-willed and independent but unfortunately you might not always be in the driving seat this summer Taurus. Be prepared to have to listen to your parents, friends or employers who want to dictate to you the best way to spend your time.

Gemini (May 21 – Jun 20) The adventurous-spirited Gemini who’s been cooped up at uni all term long is in dire need of some travelling. Luckily for you an exciting trip is in the stars so grab your passport, sunglasses and SPF!

Cancer (Jun 21 – Jul 22) Ok so I hate predicting romance for people because I’m a bitter, lonely person, but I’m also a slave to the stars and the stars are saying that you’re going to be all loved up this summer. Puke. So boring.

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22) Summer 2k19 is going to be a noisy one for the confident Leo. It’ll be all about music, festivals, parties and late nights with friends. So basically no different to any other season, right?

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22) Stay off the social media over the coming months darling Virgo as you’ll end up comparing your summer to everyone else’s, even though you know it’s such an illogical thing to do. Social media is so #fake – we don’t need the stars to tell us that.

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22) Libras are known for being naturally caring people and for putting others first. However, you might see some role-reversal this summer and will need a bit of a hand when you get yourself into a sticky situation.

Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21) Mysterious Scorpio, take off that mask wink, wink (had to get the mask theme in somewhere).  Be open minded about hanging out with unexpected people this summer Scorpio and you’ll be sure to make some great new friends.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21) The party-loving Sagittarius has three months of festival, fun and glitter coming up. Let off some steam before it all gets grey again in September but also remember to practice some basic self-care like showering (sorry had to be said, we all know what you dirty lot are like).

Capricorn (Dec 21 – Jan 22) Capricorns are known for their pessimism so it might be that you’re not looking forward to those long summer months. No worries dear Capricorn, summer 2k19 is going to be your best one yet; stress-free but still busy and exciting.

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18) Aquarius’s shouldn’t leave their rooms this summer. Lol, joking (but only partly as I don’t like your kind). In all seriousness you might have a hard time reaching some of your busier friends over the next few months. No worries though – you’ll definitely enjoy your mindful and relaxing alone time.

Pisces (Feb 19 – Mar 20) If you think that you’re going to use this summer as a break from academia Pisces then you’re wrong! You’re likely to have an intellectually stimulating and curious few months so get your nose back into those books. If you’re up for a feminist challenge, why not try the works of fellow Pisces Judith Butler?

 

Artwork by Danni Pollock.

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