Abbie Holmes interrogates the epidemic of gloating male feminists. With the movement being used as prop, a selling-point, a tagline, and in the very worst cases as a guise to mask severe misogyny, her article proposes a rethinking of how we can de-capitalise the feminist label.
TW; Themes of Sexual Violence and Domestic Abuse
When I was freshly eighteen, my most feminist, socialist, male friend told me that my bill of perfect grades was because I was ‘lucky, not smart.’ This was after months of low level degradation that left my self esteem torn to shreds, culminating in me wholeheartedly believing that I deserved it. Everyone else respected him, saw him as kind, headstrong, if a little awkward. Why on earth would I receive such treatment, if it was not warranted? I remember lamenting over the whole relationship with my mum, picking apart everything that I must’ve done wrong. Now, most of all, I remember her response: “Abs, he’s just a damn misogynist.”
Years on from that disastrous friendship, with a healthy dose of perspective later, it’s mostly a source of embarrassment. My mum was right, and I couldn’t see what was so clearly in front of me. This guy was not unique in any way. He’d read every bit of socialist white-man theory, while never having even glanced at Audre Lorde or bell hooks. No matter how much of a formula men like this follow, it never seems to fail them. Every female friend of mine has some story about an ultra sympathetic, left leaning, feminist (usually white) guy who ended up being everything from a standard insufferable sexist to a new-right 4chan regular. It’s a confusing paradox; in a world where a man with twenty-five sexual assault allegations can get elected president of one of the worlds’ most powerful nations, what on earth do these men gain from pretending to respect us?
Shielded by the privilege that being a man allows, having the label of ‘feminist’ seems to offer a certain amount of social power. I’ve come to understand that though in my small hometown labelling yourself as ‘feminist’ may be social suicide, in the hip, left-wing cities that hold cultural capital the opposite is true. In the likes of Bristol, there appears to be a false consciousness surrounding labels. ‘Feminism’, between every #metoo post of the 2010s, every out of touch ad or campaign of the 2020s, is a business model. It’s no surprise that a certain demographic of men has seen the success of that business model and used it, whether their soundbites and taglines actually reflect their personal agenda. While every other headline seems to scream ‘look how well women are doing!’ living life, as a woman, draws a different conclusion. How many articles have told us that Greta Gerwig’s Barbie was a major step forward for women-headed-media, while the stats report a ten year low in female representation in cinema? Considering all of this, getting to be a man and a self-proclaimed feminist might just be the golden ticket: get your flowers and reap your rewards, profiting off of the D&I movements of the last decade, all while continuing to degrade women in your daily life, if you so please.
The faux-male-feminist has been hiding in plain sight for years, and finally, it seems that the broader culture is beginning to catch on. The past month has been dubbed ‘the end of the male feminist’ and for good reason. After years of championing himself as the textbook, squeaky clean male feminist, anti-toxic-masculinity podcast and book to match, actor Justin Baldoni has been accused of harassment and sexual misconduct by colleague Blake Lively. Unsurprisingly, there’s been much online debate on the substantiality of Lively’s claims, but what is most damning is Lively’s accusation of Baldoni’s attempts to sabotage her career via a meticulous smear campaign. Considering Baldoni’s employment of convicted abuser Johnny Depp’s ‘crisis PR manager’, alongside the parallels between the treatment of Lively and Amber Heard by the internet, insisting on Baldoni’s innocence seems more like disillusionment than anything grounded in fact.
The beginning of 2025 also saw the harrowing abuse allegations against Niel Gaiman–who has propped his career up with the feminist cause for over a decade–by former employee Scarlett Pavlovich. Between the high profile cases of the last few months, and reminiscing on all the things Justin Trudeau didn’t do for women throughout his time in office despite running a campaign dedicated to gender equality, a castle is certainly crumbling, I’m just not sure which one. It seems every week there’s some new exposé on a male celebrity who, surprise surprise, is actually a total dick. Three of them in quick succession is certainly making liberal media outlets clutch at their pearls, but I don’t see it as a broader indicator of change. It seems far more likely that in a month, news outlets will conveniently forget all of this and act equally shocked when it happens again, rather than any actual cultural shift occurring.
To make a point I swore I never would: It’s obviously not all men. I have plenty of caring, male friends, who I wouldn’t fault. But, if I’m honest, I have a lot more ex-male friends that I’d gladly hit over the head with a hefty edition of Andrea Dworkin’s Women Hating, given the chance. I’ve found that the key difference between ‘nice guy who respects women’ and ‘man who says he’s feminist and might just ruin your life’ is this idea of the feminist label. I’ve never heard my best friend proudly proclaim he’s a male feminist, or mention how he feels ‘so awful’ that misogyny exists, all while sidelining the women in his life. He does, however, have plenty of female friends that he doesn’t treat differently to his male ones. We can have regular conversations about all of the ways that being a woman sucks, and he’ll listen, rather than making it an opportunity to show off just how socially progressive he is. Respecting women shouldn’t be some chore you deserve to be rewarded for, it should be the default. When men build a brand, an entire persona, around being ‘one of the good ones’ we should probably view it with a little more caution. In the modern day, social media-fueled landscape, feminism has revealed itself as just as much a money maker as a movement—one plenty of men have no issue with exploiting.
A perfect example is @feminist on instagram. Run by two men (Jacob Castaldi and Tanner Sweitzer) the account pulls in a massive profit while stealing artwork and content from marginalised creators with the goal of promoting their clothing company. The account is part of a larger network behind the company CHNGE, co-owned by French billionaire Pierre-Edouard Stérin. The men behind these accounts blatantly co-opt women’s issues for their own profit, frequently using captions like ‘the struggle is so real!’ to convince followers that they too, experience everything from misogyny to period cramps. There’s even an entire account in the CHNGE network, (@theperiodfeels, now @itsaugust) dedicated to posting about the struggles of menstruation, which quickly evolved into a business account promoting period-themed merchandise.

All things considered, this current social climate does not exactly fill me with optimism, but there is space for change. More media outlets are propping up women as defenders of their own cause, rather than rewarding half-hearted faux-feminist men for the novelty. Alongside this, there are male figures that seem to have a grounded understanding of the feminist cause. The likes of Jordan Stephens have been open about understanding that ‘feminist’ may not be the right word for them, and understanding that a cultural shift founded in positivity is what is needed to heal the misogyny that runs through our society, rather than hollow ‘go women!’ social media posts that drip with a desperation for liberal brownie points.
Reading endlessly about the subjugation of women ultimately ends up being nothing but disheartening. I think a better approach is one that follows the methodology of climate optimism. Yes, there are a lot of statistics that show just how awful society is for women, but focusing on the positive changes puts us in a better place (and ultimately a better headspace) to fight for the changes and representation we deserve. For now, the most we can do is continue to champion the individuals whose support for the feminist cause comes from a place of empathy, rather than greed. In the meantime, beware of the male feminist.
https://twitter.com/neilhimself/status/514214471150350336
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