Beck Horrocks explores the ‘joyous feminist utopia’ of the girls’ toilet as its role as both protector and mood-booster! Her article inspects the necessity for safe spaces alongside the  latent threat of sexual violence on a night-out.

[Trigger Warning: Sexual Violence]

If you have ever been to Brass Pig, on a Friday night, you know that their girls’ toilet is a frenzied, joyous feminist utopia. I have casually shared cubicles with girls I met briefly in the queue as well as the girls that know me better than I know myself. I have told countless people I love their black cherry lipstick shade, their skirt or their bag and in return been told that my hair, top and  eyeliner is stunning; or even once that I light up every room I walk into (thank you, Louisa, I’ve never forgotten that). 

But what is it about a club night that makes female solidarity so important? 

Maybe it’s the fact that around ⅔ of women in the UK have experienced sexual violence on a night out [1],[2]. Or maybe it’s the fact the majority of the perpetrators are men [1],[3]. Or just maybe it’s because more than half of these women are too scared to report it [1],[3],[4]. 

These statistics should not deter us – as Cyndi Lauper rightly pointed out: Girls just wanna have fun! These are the years to be brave and to conquer. I shouldn’t have to choose between a rape alarm or lip gloss as my accessory for the night and I shouldn’t choose not to go to a club I’ve been desperate to go to just because it’s in a potentially dangerous area. And yet, these are choices I have to make each and every time I go out to ensure I make it to my 9 am next Monday.

The threat of sexual violence is not only kind of a mood killer when you’re just trying to get low to Flo-Rida but it can also be incredibly isolating. It is estimated that anywhere between 65% to 84% of instances of sexual violence go unreported [5],[6],[7] and some of the most common reasons for this are feeling afraid or like it’s not a big deal [8]. This is one reason why the ladies’ toilets are so important. They represent the kind of supportive, non-discriminatory community that we should provide to women so more victims feel they have a comfortable place in which to speak up. Not to say that this is ever easy, but it’s a little easier when you’ve got your girls behind you.

Sexual assault is a serious and extreme example of the kind of modern sexism that we women have to deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes I feel as if being a woman is like having a full-time surveillance job: ‘Madam president, there’s a man in a Radiohead t-shirt at 2 o’clock. Abort mission to the bar, abort!’ This is another reason I find my female friendships so important on a night out. My girlfriends see and know things that my guy friends don’t know to see or to know. Having guys you trust at your side on a night out is great if you need a human shield between you and that slightly creepy-looking dude with the low taper fade but it takes a girl’s spidey senses to spot him in the first place. 

I’m sure every girl reading this knows the sense of unease or even potential threat that I’m talking about. This shared understanding is the thinking behind schemes such as ‘Ask For Angela’. This allows anyone who feels unsafe at a bar or club to get the help they need without having to waste time answering a string of unnecessary questions. But this power isn’t just for national schemes. Countless women have shared stories online about times they’ve approached ladies they don’t know pretending to be their best friend or vice versa in order to scare off strangers that are making them uncomfortable. Even though the situation it’s born from is depressing, I think this demonstration of innate trust and sisterhood is really kind of beautiful. Nice going, girls!

But despite all the trash that we are constantly wading through, I don’t believe that the ‘universal female experience’ is one grounded in fear and anger. It’s that dress you got excited about because it had pockets. It’s the tight hug you give your girlfriends before saying goodbye. It’s that one really memorable conversation you had with your mum. It’s handing a tampon to a sister in need with a smile and no hesitation. It’s that outfit you got just right and sent a snap of to all your friends. But most notably, it’s the friendships you foster in the ladies’ toilets.

Whilst we’re fighting tooth and nail for the world to be a safer place for women, it’s important for our morale to see the kind of world we’re fighting for, and the ladies’ toilets provide us with a window to that future.

Sources:

1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10782665/#:~:text=Over%20half%20(58.0%25)%20of,in%20the%20past%2012%20months.
2. https://publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201719/cmselect/cmwomeq/701/70109.htm
3. https://criminalinjurieshelpline.co.uk/blog/sexual-abuse-data-stats/
4. https://link.springer.com/content/pdf/10.1057/978-1-137-32051-3.pdf
5. https://thehuntinggroundfilm.com/public/docs/meetings/sub_committee/20140411_css/17_nap_2014_est_incidenceofrape_sa.pdf (p.38)
6. https://web.archive.org/web/20151014075022id_/http://www.soc.iastate.edu:80/sapp/Rape1.pdf (p.1)
7. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0733862705700912 
8. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/epdf/10.1111/fare.12241?saml_referrer (p.172)